New Beginnings

Well...after a short hiatus, in which I supposedly said some very nasty things to everybody but the kitchen sink, I am back again blogging but not so vengeful. A brief stay at a mental hospital were the Doctors diagnosed me with Bipolar disorder. Sounds scary doesn't it. Oh my God!! Is Ned going to freak out on us? Should we not hang out with him or talk to him? Should we make him a social Peria? First of all i need to apologize for all the things I've done or said in the last six years, it was not me. That doesn't make it right but I'm sorry. Second, lots of people have BPS....look at director Tim Burton....he's a normal guy.
When it comes to BPS, I've found that the main thing you have to focus on is positivity, staying positive. Normal bumps in the road can set me off in one direction or the other. Depression or manic episodes which I don't remember (symptom of brain cancer but that is not what this blog is about). My manic episodes, I've heard, are not pretty. As long as I try to stay positive and with help of my crew of Docs (4), I can control this.
The reason I'm writing tonight is because I am cycling. That is a BPS term for when a individual either experiences high spirits or low spirits. I am currently experiencing high spirits. So high that I cleaned the house, mowed the lawn, did yard work and still can't fall asleep. It's 1:40 in the morning and 8am comes quick. NormallyIi would have no problem falling asleep. It's the equivalence of me being on a meth binge, so I've heard. I've also noticed that the meds have increased my tremors which is never a good thing. However, have to stay positive. Realize I'm married to a beautiful, supportive wife. Father to a beautiful 3yr old daughter who hangs on every word I say and follows me around like a lost puppy. I have a great life!!!! It may have been bumpy at the beginning. Growing up with BP parents, my childhood sucked big fat donkey balls. It was a constant battle in my house. Everyone had to walk on eggshells wondering if today was going to be the day that one of our parents flipped and killed all of us children. Like I said it sucked. I DO NOT WANT THAT FOR MY CHILD(REN)!!!!! Stay positive Ned....Stay positive..... It seems at times that staying positive is hard to do. I'm no saint. I'm not blowing sunshine up you ass! I've got to for everybody sake. It's no longer about me..........who knows, maybe I see an awesome sunrise over the river.......